Frozen over
by Mystrothedefender
Summary: Batman finds Joker in an unusual position... and in a sorry state.


It was the coldest night of the year, but still Batman roamed the streets. Robin and Nightwing had elected to stay home, which was fine, but Bruce had scolded them and told them that once he was gone they would have to do it, they wouldn't have him to complain to or rely on. He reminded them again: crime never stops.

The air was frozen and almost painful to breathe, it was below freezing when the sun had set several hours ago, and it was a clear night which meant no insulation from the clouds. His suit was well insulated but he could feel the soles of his boots threatening to stick to the ground with each step. He felt pangs of guilt whenever he spotted a homeless person, no one should be outside on a night like this. He'd called Nightwing with instructions to report their locations to shelters that could help them, but he'd be not received a response from the young man as of yet.

True, crime never stops but perhaps tonight it would take a nap, that way he could help them himself.

He could always hope.

Of course, no sooner than the thought had come to mind he heard a buzz in his ear. A police radio report.

Of course…

The Joker had been seen only half a mile away from Batman's current position.

He let out a huff of annoyance and made his way towards the area. He couldn't let the Joker's movements go unchecked.

Lately there had been several Joker sightings but no reports of criminal activity. This was very odd as usually Joker was synonymous with it, a Joker sighting meant something bad was happening…

Batman found this very unnerving.

Everything was all too still as he reached the reported location.

He couldn't-

His eyes locked suddenly to a pale skinned figure on the roof of the building opposite.

Quickly and quietly he moved towards it.

He had expected to find Joker as he usually presented himself: purple tailored suit, smart black shoes, brushed back hair, perfect smile.

What lay before him… he had not expected.

The suit was draped on the ground, the shoes neatly paired to the side with socks, a bow tie, and underwear tucked into them.

Joker lay, undressed, on top of the suit, his arms folded behind his head with his fingers knitted into his hair, his legs crossed casually, sunglasses resting crooked on his face. He looked as if he were sunbathing.

"Do come and join me Batsy," he said loudly, an odd gravelly tone to his voice which indicated the he had some sort of illness.

Batman stood fast, silent.

"You know it's been thirty-seven years since we first met here? Thirty-seven. How time flies."

Again Batman didn't move or say anything, his stomach twisting at the sight in front of him.

"It was such a pleasant night. So warm… and they say global warming's a myth," he chuckled, "Then again, some people say we're myths but here we are clear as day."

"Why are you naked?" Batman asked, finally freeing himself from his shock.

Joker moved a hand to gesture upwards, "Because a Google maps drone is meant to fly over any minute now, and this is how I want to be remembered, this is how I want to be found."

"You're going to let yourself freeze to death to make a political statement about global warming..?"

That didn't seem likely.

Joker nodded, "It's just dastardly what they let those big companies get away with. Don't you agree?"

Batman didn't really want to respond to the question but found himself nodding regardless. "You understand I can't let you lie here and freeze to death."

Joker pouted, "Why's that? You wouldn't be killing me you'd just be letting me die. I'm quite sure I've heard that from you before, it doesn't break your rules."

"Regardless of my rules I won't let you die." Batman tried to keep the emotion out of his voice but the fact Joker was using his own words and morals against him stirred anger in him.

"Is it because I'm the last one? ...Or am I just your favourite?" Joker rolled onto his side a little as he spoke, the action seeming to take a great deal of effort, an alluring tone ebbing into the last word.

That smile on his face, he was doing it to unnerved him, after all these years Joker knew better than anyone how to push his buttons.

"I don't have favourites."

Joker pouted again, rolling back onto his back, "Your words cut me Batman…" his expression morphed back into a smile, "Now run along. Don't ruin my moment in the sun."

Batman frowned as a chuckle left Joker's lips.

How long had he been here anyway..?

The report said he'd been sighted half an hour ago, but he'd probably been here for longer, even before he was seen here he was only wearing his suit, which was in no way suited for this weather. He didn't even seem to be shivering.

Batman unclipped his cape. "I said I won't let you die." He swooped forward and draped the cape over him, wrapping him up and lifting his with ease, he could feel almost no heat radiating from the clown's body, the coldness of him causing an instant sting of panic.

Joker frowned up at Batman as he easily maneuvered the small body, "Excuse you? Put me down before I make you put me down."

"You've got hypothermia," Batman stated, swaddling him with the cape and quickly picking up his clothes, he wouldn't let him have them in case he'd got something dangerous in them, but he couldn't leave them in case a civilian stumbled across them. "You couldn't make me drop you if you wanted to, you're too weak."

Joker frowned up at him, beginning to squirm in his constraints, "Don't call me weak, Batman. I'll make you regret that."

"You can't make me regret it if you die."

Trying his best to ignore Joker's jibes he began to make his way down to the street, pressing the homing switch for the batmobile. He essentially tried to turn his ears off and focus on the task at hand.

He exhaled as he debated in his head what to do with the clown now. He was in bad shape, Batman was sure he'd been in a fight and had wounds from that but they could wait, the hypothermia was an imminent threat.

He had a thermal blanket in a first aid kit in the car, that would be useful but most certainly not enough.

"Batsy are you listening to me?!" Joker yelled, twisting in his arms and almost wrenching himself from them.

Batman's grip tightened suddenly, the Joker's squirming ceased immediately due to what seemed to be pain, the man whined in his throat and frowned, a strange breathy whimper to his voice as he spoke.

"Either you don't know your own strength or you're just not content to let me die quietly."

"If you weren't fussing I wouldn't have had to do that."

Joker let out a wheezy chuckle, "That's victim blaming…"

They both looked up as the batmobile screeched to a stop in front of them.

Batman opened the car door and locked joker carefully into the seat, reaching past him to open the glove box and retrieving the first aid kit, opening that to pull out the thermal blanket.

He gently wrapped the clown in the metallic material, almost flinching every time he touched the skin, not only due to its eerie coolness.

Maybe that was why he was naked? He hadn't wanted Batman to touch him.

That made as much sense as anything.

Though this whole situation didn't make much sense...

Batman seated himself in the car and sent a quick message to Alfred to inform him of what'd happened before looking back to Joker and instantly realising he'd fallen unconscious. His eyes widened and he leaned over to pat him awake, turning the heating up to full and beginning to undress himself, piling the clothes on top of him.

Joker's eyes fluttered opened and he let out a weak chuckle, "Fresh. I never thought our first time would be in a car."

"It…" Batman stopped himself, letting out a soft growl and shaking his head. He couldn't believe he was in this situation, he couldn't take him to Arkham, in their current state they'd let him die, he had to take him to the cave.

He set the route for home and sent another message to Alfred, looking over at Joker once again. He was shivering now, that was a good sign but it showed how bad he'd gotten.

Batman, even being rid of his insulated top layer, could feel himself beginning to sweat.

Mopping the sweat off his brow he began to drive towards the house, Joker seemed content wrapped up and looking out the window.

It was a little suspect though, how little he was talking. Either he was a lot worse off than he was previously letting on or he was planning something. He'd been inches from unconsciousness before and still kept chattering.

He'd have to keep an eye on him.

I don't know when ill update this.

please leave a review.


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